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have seen a lot of parents ask “who do you love more? Mom/dad”. Is it the right question to ask your child?


Jessy Antony
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I have seen a lot of parents ask “who do you love more? Mom/dad”. Is it the right question to ask your child? What is your take on this dear Doctor

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Dr. Mridula Amarnath
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Hi Jessy,

It can be confusing and uncomfortable for the child to be asked this question, and hence is never appropriate. It might cause them a lot of distress and guilt in having to choose one parent over the other. In addition, it might teach them unwanted thoughts like:

 

  • It teaches a child that adults can be manipulated. Whoever is “best” will be persuaded to allow more rewards.
  • It teaches a child that love is really a ‘popularity’ game. If the parents have no self worth, then the child will have none either.
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